October is infant loss awareness month, and loss is still taboo to speak of in our culture. This needs to change. Losing a child no matter the age is incredibly difficult to bear. We cannot leave women to suffer and grieve in silence. There are millions of women around the world who know your pain and are suffering with you. And there ARE women who UNDERSTAND your feelings because they have felt them, too.
You are not alone.
The Lord gives strength to his people. The Lord blesses us with his peace.
I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar
Written by Kaylin Cork
I have birthed live children and I have birthed too soon.
I have lost two children early in the womb.
The bottom of the tub and the cold floor has seen the extent of my despair as I cried to the lord, “Why me? This isn’t fair.”
I’ve taken showers and watched the water run red.
I’ve cried so hard I can’t feel my head.
My heart was cut deep with severing wounds.
I’m Trying to understand my loss, too soon.
Betrayed by my own body I was disgusted by myself.
Nothing anyone said was going to help.
I look fine outside but you have no idea the pain that’s crippling.
Before you saw me I was crying so hard I couldn’t see.
Be quiet with your “it wasn’t the right time” and your “it’ll be alright.”
Nothing you say will bring them back , but everything you say will remind me that there’s two things I lack.
I have felt my soul escape as my womb emptied and the life it held buried.
I have stood when I wanted to drop to my knees in agony, “Why is this happening to me?”
Unable to stand, I slink to the floor then crawl to bed.
It makes sense in my vulnerable head,
That If I squeeze myself together tight enough maybe they will stay inside and they will be alright.
Mourning succumbs me as I realize reality.
Why did this happen to me?
I am woman hear me roar.
Hear me pick myself up from the floor.
Through the fog of grief I see the light of day,
God willing I will be okay.
Holy Spirit guide me, keep satan away.
Time has healed my wounds but the scars remain, reminding me of the life that never came.
I have felt loss, but I have also felt gain.
Remember that Flowers bloom beautifully after it rains.
Later a time comes when those two little lines reappear,
First Joy and gratefulness, then pecking fear.
Lord please let it be sticky, hold this life inside me.
I am Unable to connect to the current life because of the passing that came before, it haunts me while I wait at the doctor’s door.
And then there it is, the rhythmic swoosh of life itself,
The validation makes me melt.
With relief in my breath I pray this life keeps.
I have felt life inside me and watched my belly grow.
I have waited for this moment, I am ready to go.
What a precious gift given to us,
In you God I put my trust.
As labor comes and quickens
My excitement thickens.
I am ready to bring life to the earth
Even if it may hurt.
I can do it, I am made for this,
I can’t wait to give him a kiss.
The pressure builds inside my womb,
Because he is running out of wiggle room.
Earth side, I have life almost near, then in just a moments time, your cry I hear.
I did it, I birthed without fear.
Wrapped in my arms after dad gives you to me,
I must be in a dream this can’t be.
“You are finally here and I did it!” I say with tears.
You are my rainbow after my storm,
I’ve never loved so hard before.
I am woman, hear me roar,