The Double Standard About Boobs 

We live in a country that is home to so many double standards when it comes to many topics, but the boob controversy is what I want to address. The fact that is is even a controversy at all boggles my mind.

First let’s start with this. Just think about this in terms of the way our culture reacts to these images.

In this culture; this is acceptable.

Kim Kardashian and Kendall Jenner posing for a photos hoot. Some say it’s ok because it’s fashion. Call me crazy but in order for something to be considered fashion, shouldn’t she have more clothes on? And what does being naked have to do with fashion?

Now I get it, being naked (especially if it’s someone really famous) will get eyes on your product more than the model being fully clothed because sex sells. If we as a culture will accept these pictures as “just fashion,” then accepting breast feeding shouldn’t be a problem because it’s “just eating.”

Did these images get blocked and reported on social media for nudity? No. But images of women feeding their babies naturally do.

Now, here’s a picture of me feeding my son.

A good portion of people would be offended by this and tell me to cover up or if I’m in public go somewhere private because they don’t want to see it. Then there’s even the extreme people who aren’t even satisfied when a woman does cover up because they “know what’s going on under there.” Those same people are ok with barely there bathing suits on the covers of magazines.

Hypocrites? Yes.

Well what’s wrong with what’s going on? I’m feeding my child the natural way, they way God intended breasts to be used. If they were created for the sole purpose of sex toys for men then they wouldn’t make milk for babies.

Boobs are not for men. Let me say that again.

Boobs are not for men. 

Boobs are for babies to eat and get nutrition from their mothers as well as comfort.
Another argument I’ve heard is, “Sex is natural but I don’t want to see you do that.” Comparing sex to breast feeding doesn’t even make sense first of all because boobs aren’t for sex. And I don’t get off by breast feeding. Ew. And why is the porn industry accepted and successful if sex should be done privately?  I have the choice not to look at porn because I don’t like it, just like you have the choice to look a different direction if you’re that offended by something that isn’t even sexual in reality. It’s only sexual because breasts are precieved as something to be used for sexual pleasure in our culture.

Another one, “Breast feeding should be done privately.” Ok so am I supposed to stay home literally 24/7 so I can privately feed my baby and never leave since I feed on demand? I will not feed him in the public bathroom. That is disgusting. Take your meal and eat in there if you’re suggesting my baby eat his meal in the bathroom. Gross. 

Our culture has sexualized breasts, creating the idea that sex and pleasing a man is all boobs are good for when actually the real purpose of them is to feed a baby for as long as she wants. (The length of time a woman breast feeds her child is a topic for another day.)

Images like the ones of me breast feeding get reported and removed from Facebook all the time because of nudity but pictures that are sexual in nature that show even more skin than I’m showing get to stay. So is it the nipple that’s the issue? Or is it just the act of breast feeding? Or is it both?

There is a bill in a northern state that if passed would make it a misdemeanor for women to show their nipple in public. So if I’m feeding my son and while he is latched you see no more of my breast than you would if I was wearing a bikini I’m fine. But if he suddenly pulls off because he’s done or my let down is so strong it chokes him, I’m in danger of a misdemeanor? Just a second, let me tell my 2 month old not to pull away from me. Yea, okay…

Can’t you just give him a bottle of breast milk?

No. And I’ll tell you why.

  • First of all,breast feeding is my right as a mother protected by law. Honestly I shouldn’t need any other reason.
  • The way a baby has to suck to remove milk from a breast verses a bottle is different. Some babies will not take bottles at all.
  • Not every woman is able to pump enough to feed a full meal to their child because pumps aren’t as effective at removing the milk as a baby. There are women who can barely get drops from a pump or manual expression but their baby gets it out.
  • I love the bond breast feeding provides. When I was pregnant I was very indifferent about it and did not bond with my baby. I felt a lot of guilt for that. Labor and birth didn’t give me instant love either, falling in love is a process and breast feeding made me fall in love with my son. So I’ll be damned if someone wants to put a damper on that for me.

Since I don’t pump, if I’m out I have no choice but to breast feed even if I wanted to give him a bottle. Which I don’t. You want me to wait and feed him when I can do so privately? Let me show you what that gets you.

Would you rather listen to him scream and cry because he’s hungry? I doubt it. Boobie milk will fix it, but wait, culture says don’t do that here, not where others are eating. Gasp!! Hello, he’s eating too.

I feel like people have this idea that women breast feed just to get attention when really we are just mothers trying to do right by our kids. I can’t set the example to my kids not to worry about what others think if I am scared of what others think.

I also feel like people who hear about women who breast feed in public whip out their entire boob or boobs at once. We don’t take our shirts off to flash the world ! This isn’t girls gone wild. It’s mothers gone rogue. I say rogue because breast feeding still isn’t socially accepted up to the level it should be. It’s still taboo.

I use the Two shirt method. A tank top and a t-shirt with a nursing bra.

Can you see any of me? Not at all. But my son is happily eating lunch with us at the table at a restaurant full of people. This is what breast feeding looks like.

Some women pull the neck of their shirt down instead of up like mine is in the picture, but still, no more of the breast is shown than in a fashion magazine or a bikini.

Another contradiction. Our culture says women should love their bodies, it’s their body, their choice for what they do with it. Except breast feed. Don’t be proud of that, hide it, that’s not for others to see. Newsflash, it’s not for others, it’s for my son. And sex isn’t for others to see but again I mention the porn industry. We praise women that do things with their body that they want to do, like those photo shoots, but we don’t praise women for feeding their babies with their breasts. See the double standard here?

Stop making women feel ashamed and scared to breast feed.

I’m not breast feeding just to piss you off, I’m doing it for him because he’s hungry and doesn’t give two shits if I’m in public.

It saddens me to know that women go to the bathroom or their cars to feed their babies because they are afraid of what others think or will say to them. How many things have women missed out on because they were afraid to go out and and “risk” having to feed their baby in public and panic about what to do.

Ladies, the breast feeding stigma won’t change if we continue to hide in the bathroom, our cars, or our house. So get out there and feed your babies!

My first time breast feeding in public. 🙂 November 2015.



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